How living my design led me to stray from Human Design!

A few years back, my intuitive, experimental belly led me to participate in the first official Gene Keys Deep Dive, co-birthed by Richard Rudd, Teresa Collins and Marshall Lefferts.

 

I had been involved in the Human Design learning community for some years by then, and had completed the analyst training through Jovian Archive.

 

While I hadn’t ever heard anyone within the official Human Design community speak negatively about Richard Rudd’s evolving work with the Gene Keys, I had a slight feeling that in delving into it, I might be treading on controversial and/or paradoxical waters.

 

A couple of weeks before the Deep Dive began, I received an email from one of my main Human Design teachers, someone I had – and still have – a great deal of appreciation and respect for.

 

She had visited my web site (LiveAsYourself.com) and noticed that I had referred to and included links to Richard and Werner Pitzal’s work on my Resources pages.

 

She asked (not in an accusatory way) whether I was aware that Ra and Richard had had some kind of a falling out some time ago, and that there were still some unsettled legal issues between them.

 

Yikes!

 

I hadn’t realized that.

 

I remember at first feeling a wave of fear move through me when I read her email, especially because I hadn’t yet taken my analyst certification exams.  (I eventually decided against getting certified through Jovian Archive, but at the time, I was still waiting for a belly ‘hit’ on that decision.)

 

Then I felt sadness… that two men who had such a profound connection, and respect for each other, weren’t able to ‘work things out’ or find a way to encourage or collaborate with each other. (I’m sure the background story was complicated, and they each had their reasons for doing whatever they did.)

 

As I thought of Ra and Richard, I couldn’t help but think of the deep yet complicated relationship between Freud and Jung. As devoted a student as Jung was, Freud just wasn’t able to embrace or feel affirmed by his student’s evolution, or to bless his journey into more mystical terrains.

 

I also felt some grief as I contemplated the very real possibility that my affiliation with Richard and Werner Pitzal (Integral Human Design) would ultimately mean my having to relinquish — not just my association with Jovian Archive, but the wonderful professional support and inspiration I’d received there.

 

(This hit a particularly old and familiar wound of mine. So many times in my life, my need to trust my inner guidance, led to some kind of professional isolation, or a loss of support from the ‘Institution’ whose requirements I couldn’t fully align with.)

 

I knew in my heart that if Jovian Archive were to ask me to drop my connection to The Gene Keys (or to any person, or body of knowledge, or way of working I felt genuinely drawn to), if I were to receive such an ultimatum, I’d have to let my official affiliation with the organization go.

 

That was a very pivital moment for me.

 

A time in my life when I fully received the paradox of the Human Design path. 

 

If we really honor our true nature, there’s no telling where we’ll end up!

 

Look where Richard Rudd ended up – someone who wrote many of the wonderful official Human Design books that are out there.

 

When you enter the world of Human Design, there are no guarantees…

 

In a later post, I’ll share more about how I’ve come to embrace and work with some of the paradoxes I’ve found between the two worlds.

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