(Human Design & Beyond) A few voices from our Open G pool!

Open G Center ImageFor anyone who’s been curious about what the Open G or Identity can feel like, I thought I’d share a few wonderful responses from the Designed to Blossom Program.  Hope you enjoy them as much as I did. And please feel free (if you’ve got an Open G) to share how it feels for you!

 

Participant 1:  

“Something important that I have learned recently from HD and from my sessions with Rosy is that I have an open G-center. Looking back at my intimate relationships, I could always take on what the other person desired in a woman. I know that this sounds strange, but what I mean is if they wanted a good girl, who was nice, and traditional, I could be that person. But of course, since I am not a traditional girl in many ways, the nice and good girl parts that were attached to that identity, usually from their culture, were also not applicable to me.

For example, in the certain cultures, a nice/good girl is one who does what society expects her to: follow the line, stay at home, most definitely not drink alcohol, be shy, be quiet, not think too much, love to cook, love to be the typical girl who defers to the man, other elders, be pretty, love to dress up, get their nails done, hair done, etc. You get the point.

But this was not me, like ever! I hate doing my hair and nails, I loved to go out drinking with my friends, I was not shy in most cases, thought way too much, read way too much, only stayed at home if I wanted to, loved to cook but not so everyone around me has delicious food, but to make healthy food for myself (and anyone who wanted to be healthy too).

Basically, I was almost the complete opposite of what they wanted me to be, so invariably I took on this identity of their ideal woman, but sooner or later, the actual me would emerge and it would cause me so much grief not being myself all the time. That I had to pretend, not as if I was doing it purposely to fool him, but more like I was doing it out of a need to be that person he thought I was. And why did I get attracted to men who wanted those particular kinds of girls? Well, because my mom always wanted me to be that kind of girl. She hated the way I actually was, and constantly compared me to my sister, who was the perfect girl in every way. (By the way, only recently have I found out that my sister envied me for being so different, and felt sad for herself for being forced into the “good girl” mold).

So in my 20s I was desperately trying to have the good girl identity my mother wished for me. That process continued with my current bf, and we had so much trouble because I confused him with being the good girl one minute and then open-minded, devil-may-care girl the next!

But since my sessions with Rosy the past 6 months, I have learned that I will never know whether I am meant to be with this man for the rest of my life, unless I show up authentically to him. So since I was encouraged to start being more myself with him, I have been doing it so far. And the more I am myself, the more he is sticking around, understanding the real me, and liking me for me!

The goal changed from not wanting him to see the real me and then maybe leaving me, to allowing him to see the real me, and then deciding if he wants to stay or not. So far, he is still with me and I am so happily myself now. And I am at the point where I am accepting some of those good girl aspects into my life (the ones that feel right for me), but not all of them. I still don’t know if it will work out with this man, but either way, the goal is not to keep him at any cost, but to have him stay with me only if he likes the authentic me.

It’s funny, knowing about my open G-center has allowed me to be more “me” than ever before. Before, I was unsure which part was me, and maybe even my PMS symptoms were attached to the here and there of my identity. Ever since these lessons in how to show up authentically have taken root in me, my PMS symptoms have lessened to become almost non-existent! Before, I think I would have the good girl identity most of the month, and then during the 10 day PMS time, my real self would spill out, making it hard for me to even stand being around or talking to the BF or my mom. But now, I can talk to both of them at any time of the month, because I am authentically myself throughout the month. Wow! Who knew all those years I suffered from PMS, this might have been one big reason for it? Insane to think about all this, and ever so grateful to Rosy, this group, and HD for freeing me to be myself finally! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!

You are all so right that the open G in my opinion, makes us relate to everyone and anyone, from any culture, any belief, etc. It is a beautiful gift to have an open and receptive G center, but it can also be confusing if we are not aware of it. Just because I was open to other identities, it pulled me in this and that direction, making me feel like I could be anything. But while it was a great experience to jump into this pool and that pool, it was also confusing. I think this is why Rosy’s program is genius…it helps us contextualize issues/gifts we have in light of HD. For me this has been calming and has allowed me to see that each center, closed or open, can be a site of trouble but also so much benefit. And thank you all for being so open and supportive of my personal sharing of this journey.”

 

Particpant 2:

“Yes, I struggled with open G too and I too had relationship/ marital problems and as soon as I became more firm to being me and with therapy, many things changed for the better. I am so proud (not in condescending way) of you and for having the courage to do the inner work needed to grow and become more authentic. I relate because my journey is similar. Xxoo  I use to even wonder about how I changed perfumes often, or my taste in things….so I believe this may also have to do with open G- “no fixed identity”…I think it’s fascinating and I appreciate my open G.”

 

Participant 3 (responding to the first comment):

“Wow! dynamite sharing! i just love it. i have an open g-identity center, too. and my life/identities have been episodic – like chapters in a novel – many, many identities. at this point in my life, i am feeling freer about my identity – more in the flow – not trying to define myself as much as i once did. this whole designed to blossom program is so pivotal in letting myself be who i authentically am.

You are so brave to have opposed such a traditional culture. you go, girl! you’ve worked so hard and it’s so exciting for me to hear about your amazing breakthroughs and realizations. thank you so much for sharing.  i felt pretty confused for a lot of my life – i’m thinking now it was the open g-identity center – at this point in my life – reflecting on all the phases i’ve gone through – i am so appreciative for all the experiences/identities i’ve had. i’ve had a very colorful life, as my friend says. makes for good stories, too! i am feeling more authentically myself than i ever have in my whole life. you are becoming more authentic everyday – i can feel it! keep going and keep sharing. you are fabulous!”

 

Participant 4:

“Thanks for your beautiful sharing. I have a open G/identity as well. I have had some trouble to really understand the open G/identity, your sharing make it much more clear to me. I was a child who has to take care of my parents. I learned early on to mach what was needed. I also had the ability to see things other couldn’t see. There was no space to be me and have a “Self”. It has been a long journey for me to learn my “self” to know.

As you can imagine, I had to go through a lot of guilt, fear, anger and loneliness to find my true Self. When I realized that I`m not my story, but a spirit, who always has been longing to find God, something in me changed and I found my true “Self”. My story / childhood also gave me the gift to go a long with all kind of people. I have always been accepting and open to other cultures and ways to be in life. It could be the gift of the open G/Identity..? I guess.. Actually I dont like to be put into boxes.”

 

If you were participating in this conversation, what might you add????

 

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