I have “OTHER TYPE ENVY!” (Manifestors and Invitations)

A Projector from the Designed to Blossom Program recently asked me (and my husband) an interesting question about Manifestors and invitations, which got me thinking about “other Type envy” and all sorts of things.

Below you’ll find my (and my husband’s) response to her question, and the question itself! Enjoy. 

It’s not uncommon that I hear from Projectors who wish that they had some of that reliable Generator energy. But the truth is that many people who start to get to know the Human Design system can have momentary bouts of “Other Type (or Authority) Envy”! It’s very natural. : )

 

Even my husband, the Manifestor, was talking the other day about how sometimes he wishes he could be a Projector, and just have someone extend him an invitation for once!  (Definitely a thought I’ve had one or two hundred times, as a Manifesting Generator!)

The participant’s question to my husband:

“Hello Kim. I’m a blossoming member from Rosy’s group.

I am curious to know how your body responds (as a Manifestor) to an invitation, both when it is not correct and when it is correct for you? And, when it is correct for you, what is the process, if any, you go through? If it feels correct for you, I would love for you to respond in video.”

 

When I asked Kim why he felt envious sometimes of Projectors who are designed to receive and accept invitations, he smiled wide, thought a bit, then said that the part that really REALLY appeals to him about the INVITATION, at least theoretically, is the fact that he wouldn’t have to work so hard going out and selling himself and what he wants to manifest in the world.

His fantasy was that someone would come along, invite him into a fabulous situation, hand over the funds and whatever tools he’d need, and then he could go and do whatever the heck he wanted to do… in peace.

 

After Kim shared that, I read the rest of the question to him, including her (very respectful) suggestion that he answer her question on video.

 

Almost immediately he said, with the blunt assertiveness stereotypically associated with Manifestors, “I’m happy to answer the question, but I don’t want to do it on video.”

 

So, right there and then, we witnessed his INVITATION-related dilemma playing itself out.

The truth is he loved the question; he welcomed the invitation to share about his experience as a Manifestor. But he didn’t want to do it on video. He didn’t want to do it on someone else’s terms.

And that experience felt very familiar.

 

Something – an opportunity — comes towards him. He gets happy and excited about it. But then he learns more about the opportunity, and suddenly it starts to lose its spark. He starts to feel controlled or entrapped in some way.  He starts to feel the expectations or hopes of ‘the other’, to sense the strings attached… and his whole body (and aura) recoils.

 

This mini-experience opened up a very interesting and revealing conversation between us. Here’s the gist of what Kim said:

“You see, even if I like an invitation, it’s hard for me to embrace everything that comes with it.  I feel afraid that the invitation is going to come with too many strings attached. And then I’m going to end up a slave to someone else’s agenda, or their ideas for me, or their needs.

And then I get squeezed into a box that I know I won’t be able to live in for too long.

So the whole INVITATION thing doesn’t feel worth it in the end, even though a part of me wishes I got more invitations, and fantasize about how much easier my life would be if they came. But the truth is, they make me nervous. I wouldn’t want a job where someone else felt like they could tell me what to do, or give me too much unasked for input.”

 

We started thinking back to the times Kim was an employee. (In the States, he’s mostly been self-employed. But back in Denmark, he worked with children, within institutional settings. We realized, as we talked, that his favorite jobs were those where he was given his own domain within the institution. And within that domain (whether it was the art therapy room, or a video project, or the creation of the institution’s web site), he was in charge. He was able to do what he wanted to do.

He loved having colleagues. He loved being part of a team. He loved the energy, creativity and inspiration he received from the people around him.

 

He didn’t even mind having bosses…

 

… As long as his domain remained his domain.

 

In the most ideal scenario, he was the only one within the institution who knew what he knew, who had that particular skill set. And because of that, he was the recipient of a great degree of trust and freedom.

 

This fun conversation with Kim made me realize that “WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT, RIGHT ALIGNMENT IS SO IMPORTANT FOR ALL OF US.”

 

I’m often struck by the surprising parallels between the TYPES… even though in so many ways, we are still very different.


One thing that seems to apply to all of us (in one way or another) is the importance of energetic alignment. (If Human Design is anything, it’s about the chemistry between people. We’re all here to find our right chemistry connections!)

 

This means that all of us, in one way or another, must learn how to be healthfully selective — whether we’re Projectors receiving or rejecting an invitation, Generators responding or not responding to something with our precious energy, Reflectors choosing or not choosing to place ourselves at the center of a community, or Manifestors making choices about where and how to make our impact.


And many (if not all) of us have been conditioned, expected or pressured at some point NOT to be selective enough in our lives…. or in other words, not to make choices that are genuinely right for us. 

Although Manifestors don’t necessarily need invitations in the way that Projectors do, they do need to be energetically ‘matched’/received/met/wanted/recognized by those they’re meant to impact. And if that fit isn’t there, it can be very painful for them. 

A couple more observations I’ve made over the years (as a general rule, which means there are surely exceptions!): 

Because Manifestors tend to be more instinctively afraid of being controlled, and Projectors tend to be more afraid of being alone, Manifestors and Projectors tend to favor certain kinds of compromises. 

(i.e. Manifestors are more likely to compromise relationship in service of self/freedom-preservation, whereas Projectors are more likely to compromise ‘self’ in service of relationship).

That said, as Manifestors and Projectors move through their de-conditioning process, things start to look very different… 

Manifestors start taking risks in order to move towards and benefit from ‘relationship’ — even though it’s very scary. They’re here to learn that intimacy and freedom can co-exist. 

Projectors start to experiment with more aloneness — even though that’s very scary! They often need to learn that they can survive — even thrive — when they’re not bending over backwards to maintain their relationships, at any cost. 

I’d love to hear any thoughts you have, what you can relate to, what in your experience has been different.

Thanks for reading!

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